So I have secretly been working out the last 2 weeks. I don't know that it's necessarily working out and it's not really a secret so much as I just haven't said anything to anyone about it. I told myself that I need to start riding my bike at least 1 mile a night. I want to do it before work, but we're talking baby steps here, and if you know me you know I don't do mornings. Or waking up for that matter.
I've had a bike for about a year but it's always been a little big for me, and it's a mountain bike and I'm in no shape to be taking on mountains. Also, I fall a lot, AND I've crashed a scooter going like 14 miles per hour, so it's prolly not the best idea. Therefore, I decided to search for a new bike. I searched Craigslist almost relentlessly looking for the perfect bike for like 3 weeks, which was driving my co-worker Drew crazy (cause he is a whiny baby and likes to ruin my dreams and watch what I do at work while I'm on calls and make fun of me cause I'm not him and I don't strictly look at Reddit all day) but that's beside the point. The point is that I finally found a bike! I heart it too. I got it for $75 and the person I bought it from made some pretty awesome adjustments to it. All I want to do is get some cruiser bars and a different seat and it will be the best bike ever!
Ok, now back to the point of this. Not only did I get a fancy new to me bike, but I also had this goal to ride my bike a mile a night. Well, I went to Portland Friday, Saturday and Sunday of this last week, and when I came back I didn't ride at all. I went back to being lazy and watching YouTube videos and reading. But not tonight! Tonight I went out and I started my bike riding again. But I didn't do my mile. Partly cause I haven't ridden for a week and it hurt my butt more than I would have liked, but also partly cause I got really self-conscious.
Now let me tell you, I am not one to generally be self-conscious. I will go outside in a tank top and a headband without pants on and not think twice about what people think, but tonight was different. Tonight when I went for a bike ride lots of people were giving me weird looks and I was more than likely being hyper-sensitive, but I felt like I was being judged. Like they were thinking "look at that fat kid trying to ride a bike, what a loser."
Then I started thinking about it, and I realized that it doesn't matter what they think. Who cares if someone wants to think they are better than me because they are fitter, or because they don't struggle to ride a bike down the street. The point is that I'm trying. It's better than not doing anything, and if they want to look down on me, then let 'em. If anything I will use that as motivation, the motivation I need to get better and stronger and faster and to go out there and then become one of them and judge others who are like me when I'm down 50 pounds! (kidding!)
I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't care what others are thinking because I am out there and I am doing something. And not only that, don't judge other people for being different than you. EVERYONE is different than everyone else, you do you, and you let them do them.
As Third Eye Blind would say, "if nothing else I am myself, that's all I have to give."