Friday, November 23, 2012

The Man Deserves a Raise

I moved on Sunday to a rad and slightly confusing duplex. The place apparently used to be one big house, then a set of apartments/boarding house type place, then a duplex. I got in touch with Century Link twice this week to get everything setup at the dupe and they had the world's hardest time figuring out if this was a house or an apartment or what. I had a good time talking to all of them over IM but Louis beats them all. This guy did NOT give up when trying to upsell me stuff. The other two didn't even mention anything like that, they just said they could fix it once the address was verified. 

Here's the conversation I had with Louis today, he deserves a raise for his effort. 

*Please note I deleted any possibly sensitive info with ...*

Thank you for contacting CenturyLink. My name is Louis C. (...). How may I help you today?
Kelsey Edwards : Hiya! I would like to get my internet setup at my new house. I moved from ... Boise, ID 83706
Kelsey Edwards : I don't have my telephone number for the interwebz though :(
Kelsey Edwards : Last person I talked to said that they need to verify the new address or something, just hoping we can hop on that today
Louis C. (...): Were you a customer of CenturyLink at your old address?
Kelsey Edwards : yup
Louis C. (...): Usually this is done by setting up a scheduled transfer before you move, but that won't be a problem, however it will take up to 3 days before your service will be moved to your new address.
Kelsey Edwards : that's fine, i knew it would be a while
Louis C. (...): Can you please verify the last four of your social security number, or your three digit account code?
Kelsey Edwards : ...
Kelsey Edwards : is my SSN
Louis C. (...): Okay thank you, and what is the address that you've moved to Kelsey?
Kelsey Edwards : it is ... 
Kelsey Edwards : it's kind of weird, it's a duplex. the main house is 308, mine is 308 B. If you need to you can use the main 308 to set it up in my name, my friends live next door
Louis C. (...): Okay. Just a moment please Kelsey.
Louis C. (...): What is it that you are currently doing for home phone service?
Kelsey Edwards : i don't have a home phone, i don't need one
Louis C. (...): And this is a duplex you say?
Kelsey Edwards : yup
Kelsey Edwards : the last person i talked to said that he couldn't find the house, that it needs to be verified or something. i don't even know if im making sense
Louis C. (...): I'm showing apartment 1, 2, and 3 and building rear as available address.
Kelsey Edwards : well that's weird
Kelsey Edwards : i know the place used to be like a boarding house type situation
Louis C. (...): No it makes sense. Give me just a moment and I'll check with our address management department.
Kelsey Edwards : and it was switched to a duplex several years ago
Kelsey Edwards : ok cool!
Kelsey Edwards : i also know that "building rear" is probably the house behind ours, it's 308 and 1/2
Louis C. (...): That would make sense.
Louis C. (...): I would like to let you know Kelsey that you can get your current internet service for $19.95 a month for 5 years with no contract if you bundle with a CenturyLink home phone unlimited package.
Kelsey Edwards : well that's exciting. I like that idea, but what else would i have to get in order to get cheap internet? What would that total be? I'm all for saving money, but I don't need like a home phone or tv or anything
Louis C. (...): Total it would be $64.95 a month before tax for 5 years. You would also get that $19.95 per month price for a 12 month contract when you bundle with DirecTV and after 12 months you get $10 off of your regular internet price. And you can get service with DirecTV for as low as $33.99 a month for 150+ channels.
Kelsey Edwards : well I like the sounds of that, but I really just want the internet. I think I'll pass. But i appreciate your concern in this matter and I wish I could help you out a little more and say yes. Sorry dude!
Louis C. (...): I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.
Kelsey Edwards : no worries man, im not in any hurry
Kelsey Edwards : and by that i mean you better get this shit taken care of RIGHT NOW or else imma scream over IM!
Kelsey Edwards : *sarcasm font*
Louis C. (...): It's okay I understand. However you can also get roadside assistance and identity theft protection with your internet service along with an extended warranty for your DSL equipment and Databacker line coverage in case there's ever a need to  have a technician check your inside wiring ($99 value) and unlimited online storage to back up your important files and documents and more for just $14.99 a month for the first two months.
Kelsey Edwards : That's also rad. I think I'll be ok without it though.
Kelsey Edwards : You're really working this upsell right now, if I wasn't a cheap SOB I'd totally be on your side!
Louis C. (...): Well without the roadside assistance and identity theft protection we can still get you the rest with 50 GB of back up storage, PC optimization to be used twice a year and a free copy of Norton 360 computer security ($200 value), not to mention priority position in queue for customer support if you need us for just $9.99 for the first two months.
Kelsey Edwards : That sounds like a fair deal; not great, but fair. However, I hope that I don't need your assistance to the point that I get a priority position for the first 2 months. I work in IT and if I can't figure out how to get my own router working then I really should reassess my life choices you know? So again, I admire your upselling techniques, but I will decline.
Louis C. (...: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
Louis C. (...): Well the priority position last for as long as you have this service with your internet, now what if I made that just $4.99. You'd get Internet Security instead of Norton 360 ($99 value), one PC tune up and optimization and 5 GB of online storage space, but you'd still have the databacker insurance to cover any extensive technician charges if there's something wrong with the home wiring that's causing you not to receive the proper speeds and you get a PC protection plan for up to 2 PCs.
Kelsey Edwards : I think I'll be ok, I just want to setup my interwebz at the new house please.
Louis C. (...): I understand, probably don't have a use for most of that anyone since you have IT training. It used to be much easier to upsell that when it was free.
Kelsey Edwards : Hahah I believe you
Louis C. (...): Anyway*, sorry.
Kelsey Edwards : haha no worries
Louis C. (...): Can I get a contact number for your account and an email address where you would like the order confirmation?
Kelsey Edwards : ... and...
Louis C. (...): We can have your internet service connected on the 29th, but we should be able to disconnect the service at your current address as soon as the Monday the 26th if you'd prefer.
Kelsey Edwards : That would be rad. Sounds like a plan to me!
Louis C. (...): Please keep in mind that all prices I quote you during the course of this conversation do not include applicable taxes, fees and regulatory assessments.
Louis C. (...): Following is a recap of today’s order:
Louis C. (...): Service Address:
Louis C. (...): ... ID
Louis C. (...): Service(s) ordered:
Louis C. (...): INTERNET 7M
Louis C. (...): Order Due Date:
Louis C. (...): 11/29/2012
Louis C. (...): Billing Account Number:
Louis C. (...): ...
Louis C. (...): E-Mail Address:
Louis C. (...): ...
Louis C. (...): Contact Telephone Number:
Louis C. (...): ...
Louis C. (...): Monthly charges:
Louis C. (...): $45/mo
Louis C. (...): Estimated First Bill:
Louis C. (...): $49.27
Louis C. (...): Order Number:
Louis C. (...): ...
Kelsey Edwards : Awesome. Hopefully those numbers stay the same. Thanks for your help!
Louis C. (...): You're welcome. May I help you with anything else today?
Kelsey Edwards : nope im all set
Kelsey Edwards : good luck on those upsells!
Louis C. (...): Well I hope you have a great day Kelsey, and thanks very much! It's been a pleasure chatting with you (really, I don't say that often.)
Kelsey Edwards : HAHAHA I will take it!